Monday, November 15, 2010

Go Ahead, Knock My Socks Off.

Sunday Night:
Fifteen minutes before church, I shrunk one of the two pairs of jeans I own. I thoughtlessly put them in the dryer, forgetting that they were already almost too short and were made of cotton. They shrunk three inches.
I immediately began to cry, because once again I was stressing about finances and constantly asking God why He wasn't providing for me. The Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans were just the icing on the cake of bitterness. Three days earlier I had lost a twenty dollar bill that I owed someone for a gift I bought a share in. I was starting to stress over internship clothes again. I realized that I had to buy a dress for a wedding I'm attending next week, since the only other one I own I will be wearing to the rehearsal dinner. And about two weeks ago I got a $15 dollar parking ticket that I did not deserve. I appealed the ticket, but the lady quite rudely told me that they knew the truth (which wasn't true at all) and my appeal wouldn't do squat for me. So here I am with Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans, an undeserved parking ticket, not too much money for a dress, a lost $20 bill, and worrying about internship clothes.

I reluctantly go to church after bawling my eyes out. Two songs into praise and worship I think to myself that I just need to go home and sleep. Just sleep. I don't care that I should be at church. I don't care that I'll probably hear the answer to this problem in the sermon. I just want to go ignore everything and sleep. Just as I'm about to turn and leave, a friend comes and stands next to me.
Crap. My exit way is blocked. Oh well, as soon as everyone sits down, I'll get up and leave.
As soon as we sit down, I reach my right hand to grab my keys and bible, intending to leave.
She starts scratching my back.
So I stayed for the rest of the sermon.
The sermon was, of course, about being blessed, God's provision and how God has called us to bless others. Eventually, I got over my bitterness about the Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans and other financial stress and tuned in to what was being said. After church I went directly to Walmart where I bought coffee so that I'll actually wake up in the morning. And then I went to bed.  

Woke up one full minute before my alarm went off, thanks to the automatic brew option on the coffee pot I keep in my room. I spent some time in the Word, focused on God, and told Him I loved Him and that I really did trust Him to provide for me. After my quiet time I went up to go look at a hat that was laying on my desk, and lo-and-behold! there was my lost 20 dollar bill!!! From there on, it was kind of a snow ball effect. I got my birthday/Christmas money early from my Grandma, my ticket appeal was approved and I am being refunded $15 dollars, the dress I had picked out a week ago for the wedding was marked down from $40 to $22, and my parents let me pick out over half the clothes I will need for my internship for Christmas presents. 

So yeah. Don't let Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans send you into a tizzy... Find a friend to keep you in church by scratching you back... And thank you're Grandma for being awesome. 
Go ahead, let Jesus knock your socks off. 

Please note that this is a picture of a girl on a STORMY DAY*, standing in a CANOE* filled with VEGETABLES*, with LEAVES* falling around her, ARMS LIFTED TO THE SKY*. This was a result of typing "gratefulness" into Google Images. And I like it. A lot. It's not relevant, but I sure do like it. It's kinda... hippy-ish. *grins ear to ear* 
* These are a few of my favorite things!  

Monday, November 8, 2010

Update How-To Process for the Clumsy

1. It's important to begin with being bare-footed, as this "sets the stage" for the recommended two out of four incidents.

2. Place the pillow from the couch on the floor, stand up from current sitting place on couch, heavily step on pillow, making sure that the pillow slides quickly out from under you.

3. Crash to the floor, making sure there is a heavy impact between knees and floor, along with sliding forward... producing rug burn.

4. Wait five minutes.

5. Trip over shoes (the ones you took off from earlier, to make sure your foot had no traction when hitting the pillow), fall to your already rug-burned knees. The important difference in your fall this time around, to make it doubly treacherous, place your right hand out towards the coffee table. This ensures that the palm of your hand smashes forcibly onto a large screw-looking thing sticking out of the table.

6. Now bleed a little.

7. Regain balance and compose yourself. Pray for grace (Not the saving kind, you already have that, the other kind that keeps you on your feet)

8. Go fix hot tea to distract you from the burning on your knees. Plug you computer in, so that the cord stretches across the living room. Place a minimum of 4 items on the coffee table beside your lap top.

9. Stand in front of your laptop drinking your tea, and accidentally burp. This will cause the hot tea to spurt out your nose. Quickly turn and head towards towards a napkin, in my case it was located in the kitchen.

10. Entwine your feet in the computer cord, tripping yourself, and causing all items that you had previously set on the table to fall off.

11. Give up with staying at the house, and go to dinner at the local College Cafeteria.

12. Walk out to your car to head over to a night of fun games at your Christ Ambassador house, and step in a pothole. It's important to note several things at this point. 1) You should already be sore from the previous falls. 2) You should have considerably weak knees. 3). It should be pitch black out, so that you are not expecting the pot hole.

13. After your foot hits the hole, let your knee give out so that you crumple to the ground in a heap. Scrap skin off of your knee cap and elbow. Meanwhile, slightly twist your ankle.

14. Lay on the ground for several minutes, groaning in pain, bighting your lip to stop crying.

15. Bleed a lot.

16. Get a bandaid.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is some advice on how to be clumsy... of course, this information is gathered from my own personal experience. I wouldn't want to mislead you. No, no. I make sure that all of my "How-To's" are taught from my own mistakes, I mean lessons.
Good day.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Today's Thoughts

  • New glasses are making me quite naseous and head-achy.
  • Cravings for Diet Coke really don't go away very easily.
  • What hits the spot is a pumpkin scented candle.
  • It's time to wash (or fold) some of my socks...
  • Petting a calm but fearless armadillo in my yard two weeks ago was fantastic! He even walked over my foot!
  • I've never changed back into my comfy clothes so many times in one day!
  • Coffee would be pretty close to perfection right now...
  • Jesus cares about the little things in my life.. it's pretty perfect and romantic.
  • Being back in my own bed at night is delightful.
  • The game "Bricks Breaking" on Facebook is addictive.
  • 20 days before visiting Duluth for Thanksgiving!
  • I wish I had some really beautiful flowers right now... and maybe some lace.
  • I'd give anything for Peter Pan to be real...