I Turned on the Radio

I never listen to the Radio. Why? Because christain radio stations tend to play the same 15 songs for 10 years in a row. Like this one below. But today I turned on the radio. And it was a good thing. Because I needed to hear this song. Especially the parts underlined.


"I Need You To Love Me"
Barlow Girl



Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You



But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me



I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me



Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been




God's grace is a gift that I'll never stop gawking at.

I Think I Hate Halloween....

Last night, I was laying in bed after browsing over Facebook's newsfeed. It was filled with Snow Whites, goblins, cowboys and naughty chefs. And so I started thinking about how much I dislike Halloween.

I hate the darkness of Halloween... that it's a holiday where dimmed lights, cobwebs, skeletons and motion-detecting horror scream machines are on everyone's Wal-Mart list.

I hate the arguments about whether Halloween is pure evil, set apart to sacrifice children that satanists raise just for this day or whether it's just a day to dress up in the latest Disney princess outfit. (The child sacrifice reference was the title and blurb of an article someone posted on Facebook.)

I hate that American's spend an average of $50's on candy the week of Halloween.

I hate violent costumes. Why is it acceptable to society to dress as a dead bride, with a knife sticking out of your head and blood on your face? If I were to walk around as a rape victim, would you laugh and point and rush to have your picture taken with me?

I hate that the morning news topic on TV is inappropriate outfits for 5 year olds.... that are sold in retailers around the country.

I hate that cleavage is a part of most Halloween costumes, and it doesn't matter how old or young you are... if you've got boobs, show 'em. Mother of __*insert number*__ kids? That's ok, your kids aren't at the wild drunken party to see your immodesty.

I highly dislike Halloween. And I just realized it yesterday.

The Effects of Cold Medicine...

Normally I am pleased when someone goes out of their way to help me.
Normally I think to myself "Wow. How kind was that? Jesus, please bless them today." or "I'm so glad they knew how to help me... because I sure didn't."

But not today.

Here's the story.

I pull up to the parking garage and wait for the gate to lift. It doesn't.
"Oh!", I think to myself, "it's one of the days where they randomly require you to wave your permit in front of a sensor in order to lift the gate."
I open my car door (since my car was not close enough to the sensor) and step out.
I'm immediately jerked back in my seat because I left my seat belt on.
"Please, God. Please don't let anyone have seen that."
Turning around, of course there is a car behind me -- and the girl obviously saw me.
Realizing that my cold medicine is probably the reason for my slightly non-responsive brain, I focus on getting my WKU I.D. out of my wallet and swipe it across the sensor.
Nothing.
I then spend the next 2 minutes trying to get the sensor to read my ID.

I swipe up.
I swipe down.
I swipe across.
I press it against the sensor.
I tap it against the sensor.
I turn my card around, I turn my card upside down....
Nothing.

Finally, the girl in the car behind me (since there is now a long line of cars watching my sniffly, tired, pale and confused self unsuccessfully wave my ID around like a fool) gets out and runs up to my car window and says "use this" and swipes her PARKING PERMIT.
(Clearly the sign said permit... and I'm trying to swipe my ID like I just returned a book from the library.)

Of course, when the gate lifts and I pull into a parking spot, the girl parks next to me.
I choose to hide in my car while talking on the phone to my mother rather than explain to permit-girl why my brain seems a little foggy today.

Considering my opening statement, I grudgingly say that I am still glad she helped me out.
But only because if she hadn't I would have had to get out of my car and wave all the other cars into the other lane, until there was enough room for me to back out and leave in shame.

So here's a half-hearted thank you to permit-girl.

This will have to suffice

I will continue writing blogs. Funny blogs, newsy blogs, inspiring blogs... those kinds of blogs.
As for now.... I'm going back to the always trust-worthy list.

So here is my list for today.

1. I started my internship this week at Group Effort, a boy's group home. I will write about my initial reaction later.

2. I now know that I am 100% sure that I want to be a foster parent.

3. I went to bed at 8:15 last night.... but I was ready to go to bed at 5:15.

4. I'm overwhelmed with homework. The kind of overwhelmed where you have to grab a towel to wipe off the snot and tears that just pooled on the face of your cell phone, that kind of overwhelmed. I have so much reading.... and one of the books that I have to write a paper on is way beyond me. It's intellectual vocabularly is about 10 notches above mine. I despise this book.

5. I'm going to Murray in two weeks... and I'm relieved. I need to see Jennifer, Amanda, Andrew, Mr. Mark Randall, Kathleen.... all of those good people who lift me up and cheer me on in life.

6. My apartment is a mess. "Why?" you ask. Well. I get up. Get ready. Travel 30 minutes to work. Work from 8 - 4:30. Travel 30 minutes home. Take a 45 minute dinner break. Study. Fall into bed (typically as a weepy snotty mess). Get back up. Do you see a time scheduled for cleaning in there? No. Neither did I.

7. I have a planner again. The relief I feel is unimaginable. I can plan and schedule my day. I can write to-do lists, grocery lists, homework lists and movies-to-buy lists... and they will all stay in one book, in one place. I feel rich. And organized. (Thank you, my dear auntie!)

8. I am going to write a short blog about how much I miss people smelling good. (Not that anyone smells bad... it's just that no one wears perfume/cologne around here... and that is a tragedy. Everyone should smell good.)

9. I have a new friend named Danny. He went to culinary school but he refuses to bake for anyone. Supposedly it is my turn to bring a snack to work. He states that he is a "fat man that likes to keep his fat, so no bringin' dang carrot sticks. Shew. bring sumpin' GOOD."

10. I am blessed and highly favored.

Goodnight, people.

The Things You Learn in Grad School....

So here is what I could write about in my blog today:

• All the different kinds of yummy things I could make using pumpkin as an ingredient

• A list of my house plants, their names, and which one I really don't care for but feel pressured to keep

• My confusion to why so many people think that my aversion to cotton balls is so "abnormal"

• Our first official Chi Alpha meeting of the semester, and the awesome things that Amy taught. Topic: Born to Demonstrate

• My annoyance with my glasses and the poor eyesight I have when I wear them; which causes me to tilt my head back and squint at the computer, which I am currently doing. I need to make an appointment. Pronto.

• My delight over my GA position, and the "assignment" that I have been given - which basically means I get to do homework all semester.

• A list of reasons explaining why I think ear wax is completely unnecessary

Although these blog topics are all VERY interesting, I feel compelled to write an excerpt from the textbook that I am currently reading.
The book is the Practice of Social Work, written by Charles H. Zastrow (who does a very fine job since I actually enjoy this textbook. Surprise, surprise!).
The chapter is titled "Counseling from the Client's Perspective" and the topic is "Conceptualize the Problem".
Since this is the type of textbook that tries to engage the bored and caffeine-filled graduate student, there are occasionally exercises provided where a scenario is given (based on the current topic) and you have a space to write out what you would do in that situation.
It's like an uninteresting creative workbook.
I just came across Exercise 5.6: Exploring a Socially Unacceptable Topic with Tact... and it just became interesting.
I'm so glad I read this, as I *ahem* tend to skip over the exercises.... I think of it as a waste of pen ink and that I'm doing my part in saving the environment.

Here is what Exercise 5.6 says.

"You are a social worker at a social service agency."
(Wow! Aren't they genius!? How did they know that I was reading this and that it wasn't an Art History major or something like that? OK. Sorry. Moving on.)

"You are a social worker at a social service agency. You have a client who rather frequently expels intestinal gas. You and the other staff at the agency find such behavior to be obnoxious. The person has been unemployed for the past three months, and in the past 14 years (the client is age 34), he has frequently been fired from janitorial jobs. You wonder if his frequent expulsion of intestinal gas may be a factor in causing his spotty work history. Write the words you would use in having him look at whether his obnoxious habit is a reason for his being discharged from jobs and a reason he has difficulty in now being hired."

....

....

Needless to say, this is one exercise I plan on filling out. 

 I will be a GREAT social worker.