Aaah! Satisfaction.

 

  You know that feeling of intense satisfaction?
For me, it's when a meal that I have cooked turns out perfectly. It's when Mr. Gatti's already has a BLT pizza out on the buffet when I get there, or when I get to hold a puppy. It's when I bite into a particularly crisp yet juicy apple. It's when I find flowers to put in my hair, or a baby that I'm holding reaches out to touch my face and smiles at me. Those are moments of intense satisfaction.

    Satisfaction is defined as, "the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need or expectation." Contentment is, "happiness with one's situation in life." So really, intense satisfaction is that this moment is perfect... it's that I am so content with where I am and who I am right now, that I don't believe I could hold another drop of happiness, joy, peace, etc.

   At SALT God really filled me with a passion and desperation for Him, and I didn't want to lose that. I wanted to constantly be seeking Him out. I wanted to draw near to Him, to know Him, and to serve Him. So I kept praying that God would give me a reminder for when I came back to Murray... a reminder that wouldn't let me forget or lose that desperation for Him. And boy, did He.

    The last night there I was sitting in my chair after the service just resting, thinking on Him, when He told me to give up movies for a year. My heart sank, my toes tingled, I couldn't believe it. ME? give up MOVIES!!?? No way. Heck no. I love movies. I LOVE movies. I own exactly 100 dvds. I spend a LOT of time watching them. I buy movies, I rent movies, I spend my money on movies. I'll walk into Walmart with the mindset of buying a pair of shoes and comeout with 3 movies from the $5 rack instead. This was ridiculous to think of... pfft... me giving up movies. Funny. But I knew, in that same second that my heart sank, that I really did need to give them up. One of my biggest loves, movies needed to be prioritzed. The thing that eats up my spare time was about to be taken away completely.

    So what am I going to do with all that extra time? Exactly. Great question. I have  a great answer. I'm going to spend all this time that I would normally be watching movies with God. I'm going to spend more time in His Word, I'm going to spend more time on my campus reaching the students, I'm going to spend more time in discipleship... the list goes on and on. I know for a fact, that this will be a tremendous time of growth for me. And boy, am I excited about it! Who doesn't want the chance to grow closer to God? Who doesn't want to get to know the One that loves you the most!? God desires time with me more than any of my friends and family. He wants me to delight in His presence, and find my satisfaction in Him.

    Yesterday, whew... yesterday was hard. I have a cold, so I left work at noon to come home and rest. Before January 2nd, I would have walked into my house, thrown my purse and jacket on the kitchen table and popped in a movie. My comfort when I'm sick is to be alone and watch movies. But not yesterday. I kept thinking, "Oh my gosh. I'm NEVER going to be able to do this. NEVER. What should I do? I don't feel good... what can I do that would be as satisfying as watching a movie. *sigh* This is impossible." I was so dissatisfied. And immediately, immediately, I heard Jesus say, "Spend time with me today and I will satisfy you." Wow. WOW. I was blown away.

    It's so true though... I was so concerned about not being able to watch a movie, that I didn't focus on the fact that Jesus has the ability to satisfy me more than anyone or anything. No movie, no amount of money, no love shown by other people, nothing will satisfy me. Nothing but the love of Jesus. And so, I spent time with Jesus. And I was, am, completely satisfied.

Psalm 63:5  "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and search for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

And my favorite,

Psalm 107:9 "For He has satisfied the thirsty soul. And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.